SAINTS ROW®: THE THIRD™ REMASTERED ON STEAM

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Saints Row The Third: Remastered reviewSaints Row The Third: Remastered is probably the best version of this classic action-adventure about gangs "n" guns. It just depends what that means lớn you in 2020.

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Developer: Deep Silver VolitionPublisher: Deep SilverRelease: 22nd MayOn: WindowsFrom: Epic game StorePrice: £35/€40/$40

Getting remastered games feels like a bit of a monkey"s paw at this point, doesn"t it? The finger has curled, và we get remasters of all the old games we loved - but we have to lớn play them a decade after their original release, and not as the person we were when we loved them. & I did really love Saints Row. It has this kind of uplifting, ur-adolescent energy, where if you feel like you want to punch the world you probably can, và you can do it dressed as a witch or an alien. Also, I had a massive crush on Johnny Gat.

Saints Row The Third: Remastered is probably the best version of Saints Row The Third you could get. It just depends what that means lớn you in the cold light of 2020, I suppose.


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Probably still the most beloved of the Saints games (though I still have a soft spot for Gat Out Of Hell), The Third opens with a ngân hàng robbery seguing into a mid-air shootout on a plane, followed by an extended skydive. See, the eponymous Saints have taken gangbanging and made it a mainstream career. They"re famous. They have fans who ask for autographs, a line of energy drinks, & a movie is being made of their lives. So another powerful gang has decided lớn knock them off their perch.

Flights of fancyYou can obviously steal any car you happen lớn be within reaching distance of, but my preferred method of getting around Steelport is in the air. You have almost immediate access khổng lồ helicopters, fighter jets, & a broomstick, if you fancy it. I frequently accidentally fly over restricted areas, and the feds can immediately tell. They have a sixth sense for that sort of thing.

This means the Saints are starting almost from scratch in a new city, Steelport, and set about claiming territory from the rival gangs there. Every mission you vày that undermines the incumbent gang (dominatrix vampire cosplayers the Morningstar, cringe neon hackers the Deckers, and... Luchadores the Luchadores) gains you more sway in that area. There are various justifications for these missions - drug deals, theft, etc. - but it mostly amounts to lớn an excuse to shoot some of said gang members.

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Wot I did on my holidays: explode a police helicopter

To be fair, the mix pieces get more and more ridiculous as you go, beginning with the plane shoot out as a kind of "start as we mean khổng lồ go on." This was always Saints Row"s USP compared to, obviously enough, Grand Theft Auto. At some point the developers realised if players lượt thích exploding things and shooting people và hitting them around the face with big purple dildos, hurhur, so by God, just let them vày that, why don"t we? and give them increasingly silly scenarios in which to bởi it. Realism be damned.

Some of the more fun bits actually came as DLC, but you get them all here. There"s Professor Genki"s Super Ethical Reality Climax, an illegal gameshow where you shoot people dressed as animals or beer mascots, or The Trouble With Clones, where the Saints self-described biggest tín đồ has made a clone of perennial favourite character Johnny Gat, & it is on a rampage. But even the main story missions have peaks. There"s one almost iconic one very early on where you parachute out of a helicopter onto a penthouse, whilst power by Kanye West plays. Then you shoot a load of people in the rooftop pool.

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I"m living in that 21st century, doing something mean lớn it -

If it sounds lượt thích I"m struggling lớn describe any standout hilarious bits, or muster much excitement, that"s because I am. For all the bravado and bombast, playing Saints Row The Third in 2020 felt dated. Not in an "Ooh, you couldn"t get away with that now! Political correctness gone mad!" way. The explosions, the tits, the hilarious dildo... All of it just washed passed me. I felt like a teacher staring wearily into space as, around her, her charges throttled each other & shat on the desks. It was weirdly anaemic. The guns all felt the same, the missions all blurred into one. Exploding a bunch of alien spaceships seemed no different to lớn punching a pedestrian in the face.

Remasterful workThe remaster is good, yes, but I"d recommend toying with the graphics settings a bit, particularly the sharpening. The defaults meant the game looked distressingly ropey when I first booted it up. Some of the edges looked like they"d been cut with a bread knife. Still, nothing that a bit of fiddling with sliders didn"t sort out.

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In fairness, that isn"t really the remasters fault. Và the remaster bit of the remaster is more than decent, especially with the improvements lớn lighting and the frequent explosions (I am told that particle systems have even more particles for example). Attention has also been lavished on the character models for the main NPCs. All in all, Saints Row The Third: Remastered looks exactly how you remember the original looking, which is to lớn say way better than the original actually was.

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Into the sunset with you

It"s just the content, I suppose, that doesn"t charm me any more. It was lượt thích playing the FPS version of a top down ARPG lượt thích Diablo or Wolcen. Yeah, I"ll shoot the waves of oncoming enemies. No, I don"t particularly need to lớn know why. I"ll vị it again in another mission in a minute. Blah blah blah, strip club, blah blah blah, chop shop. Oh Saints Row. It is not you that have changed, but I.